A lovely list of things runners get to enjoy that not-yet runners do not:
1. Runners High Yes, running feels good. really good. especially when it hurts. like Sunday-when i was running head on into 50mph wind. When I finished-I was thoroughly high, way better than opium-and twice as legal.
2. Ugly "Free" T-shirts These come in the form of a 50 dollar race entry fee and usually feature a gimmicky race logo, bright neon colors, and unsightly advertisements on the back. They also quickly become wardrobe favorites.
3. Calf muscles
4. Guilt Free Buffet This is something you not-yet runners couldn't afford with all of the money in the world! A guilt free trip to that local KFC, Pizza Hut, Golden Corral buffet. Not all runners feast on these high fat, all butter, cholesterol flavored monstrosities-but Toilet Runners-oh boy, we feast and we feast often.
5. Running Playlists Whether hand carved by Austrailian Aboriginees, fine crafted in the Swiss Alps or carefully painted by Aleutian Artisans-a running playlist is a work of art. Every runner's playlist is different yet all are the same. Start with some upbeat pop. Move into a ballad at the halfway point. Dig deep and include that classic-rock epic. Finish it off with a blood pumper and you've got the makings of a Toilet Runner eargasm.
Runner-ups: Runner's World magazine, fancy watches, snobby local running shops, carbs, mid-run "nitro boosts" (gas), Personal Records, leg soreness, smokin hot bods, making fun of spandex-clad bicyclists, Training logs (mapmyrun.com, dailymile.com), bystander honks and whistles, that one runner we know who is constantly 10 seconds faster or runs 2 miles longer (bastard), GU gel, Ibuprofen, stinky stinky running clothes, tripped by rocks, uneven pavement, and small children, and the list goes on and on.