Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Things Runners Get

A lovely list of things runners get to enjoy that not-yet runners do not:

1.  Runners High      Yes, running feels good.  really good. especially when it hurts.  like Sunday-when i was running head on into 50mph wind.  When I finished-I was thoroughly high, way better than opium-and twice as legal.

2.  Ugly "Free" T-shirts    These come in the form of a 50 dollar race entry fee and usually feature a gimmicky race logo, bright neon colors, and unsightly advertisements on the back.  They also quickly become wardrobe favorites. 

3.  Calf muscles   

4.   Guilt Free Buffet    This is something you not-yet runners couldn't afford with all of the money in the world!  A guilt free trip to that local KFC, Pizza Hut, Golden Corral buffet.  Not all runners feast on these high fat, all butter, cholesterol flavored monstrosities-but Toilet Runners-oh boy, we feast and we feast often.

5.  Running Playlists   Whether hand carved by Austrailian Aboriginees, fine crafted in the Swiss Alps or  carefully painted by Aleutian Artisans-a running playlist is a work of art.  Every runner's playlist is different yet all are the same.  Start with some upbeat pop.  Move into a ballad at the halfway point.  Dig deep and include that classic-rock epic.  Finish it off with a blood pumper and you've got the makings of a Toilet Runner eargasm. 

6. Running Shoes  A runner forms a strong bond with his or her shoes.  I love my shoes.  They are the prettiest, fastest, strongest, most wonderful shoes on the planet.  No shoe will ever take the place of my Asics GT 2150's-until of course Asics releases the GT 2160 and the 2150 are no longer availible in stores. 

Runner-ups:  Runner's World magazine, fancy watches, snobby local running shops, carbs, mid-run "nitro boosts" (gas), Personal Records, leg soreness, smokin hot bods, making fun of spandex-clad bicyclists, Training logs (mapmyrun.com, dailymile.com), bystander honks and whistles, that one runner we know who is constantly 10 seconds faster or runs 2 miles longer (bastard), GU gel, Ibuprofen, stinky stinky running clothes, tripped by rocks, uneven pavement, and small children, and the list goes on and on.

I beg all of you who have not experienced these joys to lace up, head out and get your run on!


  1. Awesome post, Jef! I agree on all(except maybe the buffets, I try to steer clear of those). And don't even get me started on the shoes ;)