1. Runners High Yes, running feels good. really good. especially when it hurts. like Sunday-when i was running head on into 50mph wind. When I finished-I was thoroughly high, way better than opium-and twice as legal.
2. Ugly "Free" T-shirts These come in the form of a 50 dollar race entry fee and usually feature a gimmicky race logo, bright neon colors, and unsightly advertisements on the back. They also quickly become wardrobe favorites.
3. Calf muscles
4. Guilt Free Buffet This is something you not-yet runners couldn't afford with all of the money in the world! A guilt free trip to that local KFC, Pizza Hut, Golden Corral buffet. Not all runners feast on these high fat, all butter, cholesterol flavored monstrosities-but Toilet Runners-oh boy, we feast and we feast often.
5. Running Playlists Whether hand carved by Austrailian Aboriginees, fine crafted in the Swiss Alps or carefully painted by Aleutian Artisans-a running playlist is a work of art. Every runner's playlist is different yet all are the same. Start with some upbeat pop. Move into a ballad at the halfway point. Dig deep and include that classic-rock epic. Finish it off with a blood pumper and you've got the makings of a Toilet Runner eargasm.
6. Running Shoes A runner forms a strong bond with his or her shoes. I love my shoes. They are the prettiest, fastest, strongest, most wonderful shoes on the planet. No shoe will ever take the place of my Asics GT 2150's-until of course Asics releases the GT 2160 and the 2150 are no longer availible in stores.
Runner-ups: Runner's World magazine, fancy watches, snobby local running shops, carbs, mid-run "nitro boosts" (gas), Personal Records, leg soreness, smokin hot bods, making fun of spandex-clad bicyclists, Training logs (mapmyrun.com, dailymile.com), bystander honks and whistles, that one runner we know who is constantly 10 seconds faster or runs 2 miles longer (bastard), GU gel, Ibuprofen, stinky stinky running clothes, tripped by rocks, uneven pavement, and small children, and the list goes on and on.
I beg all of you who have not experienced these joys to lace up, head out and get your run on!
Awesome post, Jef! I agree on all(except maybe the buffets, I try to steer clear of those). And don't even get me started on the shoes ;)
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