BANDITO! BANDITO! 5k Style

There are certain things you aren't supposed to do in the running community:
1.  Talk bad about barefoot running (scraped foot idiots)
2.  Lie about a personal record (yesterday I ran a mile in 3 minutes-give or take a lap or two)
3. Run a road race without paying (also known as Bandito!)

Luckily I am not a member of the running community-I belong to the Toilet Runner community-and we have different rules.  So this past weekend I decided on a whim to run in the Wichita Shamrock 5k.  This decision was made at around 7:45 A.M. with the race beginning at 8:30.  I quickly threw on a green shirt (gotta blend in!)  and headed for the Wichita AA baseball stadium.  I was shocked when I made my way to the starting line and found that this race had around 600 participants (or so I was told), a costume contest, and a totally awesome kilt wearing bagpipe band (note for next year-get a kilt!)  I was even more shocked when I was told the race fee was 30 dollars-NOT going to be paying that. 

Bandito it is.   

It was cold so I was rockin my rad red Husker headband and hoppin up and down like a jackrabbit at the starting line.  I did my best to get stuck in the middle of groups so no one would notice my lack of a giant white race number (given to all participants) and the lack of a timing chip on my shoe.  The race started and I found my pace pretty well-around 6:16 at the first mile, the course had a lot of little rabbit hills that I attacked and passed some fools nicely on. 

I held my pace pretty well and did around 6:18 for the second mile-I was feeling strong-passed one of the two girls in front of me (sup ladies-the names Jef, get used to seein this butt in front of you), getting ready to turn towards the finish line when out of NOWHERE this "giant" rounding hill absolutely slowed me down like a grizzly bear on my back. 

Either way I finished-got around 10th-ish place (a Bandito Toilet Runner never knows such things) and got a 1 second personal record with 19:41.  I had much to be pleased with (especially the bagpipe band waiting at the finish line) as well as the lack of any stomach pains the entire 3.1 miles!!!  Thats a Toilet Runner miracle ladies and gents.   

Two last thoughts.  First-a 42 year old got first with a time of 15:07-thats like, 5 minute miles-what a beast he is!!!

Lastly-All of you runnners and toilet runners out there-am I allowed to claim 19:41 as my PR even though I was Bandito??  I hope so-because heaven forbid I have to add 1 second on my time when I brag : )  : )

  Stadium-start and finish line.

Lumberjacks, Christmas Trees and other 5k runners of mention

This past weekend was a doozy! The lady and myself decided to do the Run Like Hell 5k at a local MMA gym here in Wichita.  We wanted to match. She wanted to be a Christmas Tree-so I had no choice but to be a Lumberjack.  We looked great and ran greater (27:00ish). 

Sunday came and vert skateboarding championships was on the tube so I decided to run while they were on.  Push treadmill button to 8.0 M.P.H.  Enjoy watching Shaun White beat PLG three times in a row and step off ten miles and 1 hour 15 minutes later.  Best part of my hour and 15 minute run??? No toilet breaks-must have been a Christmas tree miracle. 

Idiot Bragging Rights

Let's talk about toilet running real quick.

So on Monday, Labor Day, I decided to do a nice hour long run.  Do a little stretch, take a sip of water-and out the door. I took off at around 3 P.M. without checking the conditions outside.  Turns out it was 96 degrees, 28 mph wind gusting to 42 and humid as could be (see diagram below).  But have no fear! A T.R. would never let something like wind or heat prevent him from having a great run.  I took off and was going along at a pretty decent clip (about 7:20 per mile) and thought "Sure, I'll be able to hold this pace for an hour."   It was super hot, a lot of wind-but luckily I had a bunch of jumpy grasshopper friends and a new running path to discover-both of which kept me going.  A few nice Wichita folks jogged by me and I flashed a huge smile and gave an obnoxiously happy wave (gotta make friends!). About half returned a wave but few smiled.  The runners I waved to were normal.  Before going on a run they worry about sore legs and whether they have the energy to workout today.  Toilet Runners do not worry about such things...

20 minutes into my run I realized that the stomach was not going to let me continue without some attention.  I had been "crop dusting" all over the trail (when no one was behind me of course) but this was not curing the issue arising below my belly button. Pain. Pain. And more pain. Either the Pain comes out-or I give up the ghost and walk home from here.  8 minutes later I see a small wooded area and head straight for it.  A nice leafy tree appears and I grab some foliage on my way in.  I start walking and ensure I have a bit of privacy.  T.R. Manual: Rule 53-just when you think you've gone in far enough-go twice as far.  Look left.  Look right.  Crouch.  Look left again.  Look right again.  Release.  Use leaves.  Use more leaves.  Stand up and bolt back onto the trail praying you don't run over some other runner who will surely know you are a T.R. and know the deed that has been done.

I turned back around and headed home.  It was so hot that my body ran out of extra sweat and stopped sweating about 30 minutes in. Soon after, goosebumps appeared all over my arms and neck. The wind howled in my face and slowed me to what felt like a crawl.  But Toilet Runners never quit-especially when continuing is dumb, and makes little sense, and might make you feel funny for the rest of the run; like you're head is full of helium and your feet are tingly.  These things just happen when you force your body to do the opposite of what it would rather be doing-which is sitting on the couch, eating hand fulls of shredded cheese while watching skateboarding videos (silly body-this comes AFTER the run).

The time ended up being 57:28 and I did a little under 8 miles.  Do a little stretch, take a sip of water and hit the floor.  Toilet Runner 1-Nature 0.  I live to run another day.

Adios Amigos



This Weeks Numbers
Day: Monday, 9-6
Time: 57:28
Distance: 7.8 Miles

Day: Thursday, 9-9
Time: 26:37
Distance: 4.1 Miles

Day: Friday, 9-10
Time: 27:43
Distance: 4.3 Miles

Day: Saturday, 9-11
Time: 19:47
Distance: 3 Miles

PROOF!!

Copycat Ways

So, i'm making this whole blog thing because my awesome older sisters have two awesome blogs that I love and I figured i'd give this thing a shot too.  I went ahead and spent about 45 minutes of my plan period trying to think of a really funny/quirky/smart blog name before realizing that this isn't facebook-no one will read this.  But thats ok! I always tell my students how good it is to journal and I suppose i'd better give it a shot too. 

I called this post copycat ways because its a good intro into my blog and myself!  I copied my sisters blog ideas and I copy other people most of the time too.  I just began my first year as a teacher and let me tell you-everything I do in class was created by another teacher.  Beg, borrow and steal baby!!! Haha. I love it. 

I also try to be a copycat in the ways of Jesus.  He's the bomb, I know it-you know it, He knows it, no need to lie homedawg.  As all copycat's know, you never do as well as the original-which is why I mess up, why I know I need Jesus, and also why my blog is not as good as my sisters's. (was that the appropriate use of s's and appostrophes on sisterss's'??)

Anyway, i'm glad your'e here.  I love to run.  I love to be a Lactose Intolerance-Denier. And maybe I'll love to post again tommrow if you're lucky. 

Ciao Bella